Guest: Hayley's Journey to an 'Unwasted' Life
Dear Recovery Cat Readers,
Hi there! I’m Hayley, and I’m excited to share a major piece of my life with you. Five years ago, amidst the month of Dry January in 2019, I stopped drinking alcohol. The decision wasn't part of a grand plan; it emerged during my participation in Dry January, with a few slips along the way, the last being at a series finale wrap party for the show I worked on, "iZombie." The morning after I was hungover as can be, and I turned to my partner, Jonas, and croaked "Let's give this another shot." Little did I know, this seemingly temporary choice would become a permanent transformation, reshaping my entire world.
Embracing a life without alcohol wasn't just a decision; it was a key to newfound clarity that allowed me to confront past traumas head-on. Unbeknownst to me, I had been using alcohol as a coping mechanism to evade the shadows of my past, including a life-altering diagnosis of CMT (Charcot-Marie-Tooth) at the age of 15. This diagnosis marked a major shift in my existence, and alcohol became a crutch - a means to momentarily escape the harsh realities of living with a progressive illness. Gratefully, my progression has been slow.
Despite not being a daily drinker, my relationship with alcohol was deeply entwined with social drinking on weekends.
The allure of the weekend often led to excessive drinking, blurring memories, and providing a temporary escape from my worries. It wasn't until the age of 28 that the true impact of alcohol on my life became apparent. I came to realize that alcohol, far from being a solution, had been exacerbating my struggles, especially in coping with the challenges posed by CMT. The tendency to overindulge, and embrace the ‘party girl persona’ - these were all manifestations of a subconscious effort to suppress and forget.
The road to understanding this connection between my struggles and alcohol was challenging. Confronting my past and acknowledging the negative impact of alcohol on my well-being taught me courage and resilience. The newfound freedom brought about a sense of empowerment and liberation that exceeded every hurdle.
To navigate the early days of sobriety, I adopted unconventional strategies that worked wonders for me. I hibernated and deliberately avoided social media, creating a nest where I could foster my newfound sobriety away from external pressures. My sanctuary became SoulCycle classes - a spiritual haven where I'd sweat and cry in the dark, immersed in loud music. These sessions, along with time in nature, became a form of therapy, helping me release pent-up emotions.
My support system played a crucial role, with lots of time spent with family and Jonas, my rock through this journey. Though not typical, I chose not to engage in traditional quit lit, podcasts, or join a community until over a year into my sobriety. The unconventional approach worked for me, thanks in large part to having Jonas by my side… Looking back, I'd undoubtedly have sought community earlier if I could do it differently.
In March 2020, amid the COVID lockdown, I ventured into "sober Instagram," creating a blog and page known as So Thirty.
It symbolized being so thirty, as I turned thirty that year, and also sober at thirty. The evolution of my journey led to rebranding it as This Unwasted Life, where I currently ‘reside’ online. Sober Instagram has been a huge part of my story. Connecting with others on similar paths has been wonderful, so much so that I eventually left the film industry to get my Recovery Coach certification and make a massive life change. It’s been an incredible journey.
My definition of joy underwent a major transformation. It now resides in the simple yet profound experiences - an evening of live music, engaging in conversations characterized by raw honesty and laughter, savoring a quiet Saturday morning with a fresh cup of coffee, and the serenity of waking up without the question, "What happened last night?"
If you're considering a similar journey, let me share a truth - I've never encountered someone who regrets parting ways with alcohol. Not a soul who wishes for the fog of a hangover. The fear of missing out evolves into the fear of drinking, blacking out, and missing out on life's precious moments. That fear transforms into the realization that alcohol can lead to behaviors one would never exhibit when sober.
So, what’s the secret? Keep going, day by day. Find your crew, connect with communities (I host the @NoBoozeCrew on Instagram, facilitating free weekly women's meetings on Wednesdays!), and write down your 'why,’ letting your emotions flow naturally without drowning them in a bottle of wine.
It gets much easier with time.
For those considering the path to an alcohol-free life, I extend my support and encouragement. While the journey is not without its challenges, the rewards are immeasurable.
Please feel free to reach out if you wish to connect further. You’ve got this.
Here's to embracing the journey with fortitude, and may your path be illuminated with the brilliance of newfound joy and fulfillment.
Cheers from my NA bev to yours,
Hayley
Find Hayley:
Website: thisunwastedlife.com